What is the origin of Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem or self-worth is about our sense of belonging. Feeling included in relationships and community is essential to our well being for all people. But many people struggle with a sense of feeling like an outsider or ‘not enough’. So where does this come from? In childhood, positive and negative interactions with caregivers and friends slowly shape the felt sense of self and worth for better or worst. Also self-talk such as “I am lovable” or “I’m not smart enough” contributes to how we feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is like an emotional immune system to us protect against stress, anxiety and shame. The good news is self-esteem can be learned about and improved.
Self-Esteem is connected with creativity
Creativity is essentially making and sharing something about your authentic experience. Creativity can be a force in improving self-worth. When achievements or outside validation (such as negative criticism or awards) control self-esteem we can be left feeling disconnected or craving more. The goal is to validate your unique strengths, skills and talents separate from external approval. Creativity also involves the benefit of competence or improvement gained from a healthy creative practice that boosts self-esteem and well-being.
How do I know if I have low self-esteem? Take the quiz here: Contingencies of Self Worth Scale (Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, and Bouvrette in 2003)
Therapy for Self-Esteem helps you to shine and be adored like the California Poppy!
Building self-esteem and confidence can be learned through Therapy
If you have low self-esteem, how do you regain that confidence back? In therapy, the goal is to strengthen your authentic voice, unique strengths, and experiences. In short, learn to accept yourself and believe in your abilities. Strengthening validation from within decreases the importance of outside expectations and the judgements of others. Self-esteem is deeply intertwined with identity, race, career, able body status, gender and economic status. Unraveling the unhelpful thoughts and inner critic takes time. High self-esteem is linked with assertive communication, healthier relationships, good decision making, and resiliency. Therapy helps to awaken the dormant strengths, skills, and ‘authentic you’ parts that were always there. Somatic therapy specifically helps to re-build the connection with your authentic self and strengths through the practice of listing to your body and your heart and prioritizing your wants and needs.
"We can't ask people to give to us something that we do not believe we're worthy of receiving. And you will know you're worthy of receiving it when you trust yourself above everyone else."
-Brene Brown